Have you ever thought that the world owes you an explanation for doing nothing but serving you the worst-case scenarios? Ever wondered how nothing goes as planned? 

The expected outcomes never materialize. Each road to breakthrough is full of roadblocks. And just before you reach the finish line, life gives you another hurdle.

Strange.

The end to your hardships remains unnoticeable. No matter how hard you try to fight it, the fact remains that you are a victim of your circumstances. Do you believe that too?

Helplessness becomes your inescapable truth. You blame your suffering on other people’s mistakes. You’re left with only one option – succumb to your victim mentality. Would you give in?

I did. 

I’d love to say that I didn’t and pretend to be strong, but that is complete balderdash. At that time, I felt that pulling my victim card was the wisest thing to do. 

For the longest time, I had a victim mentality. I was an expert on pointing fingers. I blamed everyone else but me. 

I had to finance my education because my mom couldn’t and I held that grudge for quite a while. I was born and raised in the Philippines where working before graduation is peculiar. I felt left behind, always envious of people who worry about nothing but their grades.

This is where my blame game started. I blamed my mother for all my mishaps. I thought we would have lived a better life had she worked harder. I blamed those who can’t understand how difficult it is to juggle work and school.

For a moment, I took my power back. “It was not my fault. “ I thought. The more I think about it, the more I realize something. I had full control of the choices I made along the way. 

I have to stop being the victim.  

The door to freedom is overcoming victim mentality. It is not as easy as I thought it was. It is rooted in a lot of negative things and childhood traumas. Accepting my past was my hardest task. 

Every time I see my mom, memories of the past keep flashing back. I knew I had to distance myself. And so, I did. Looking back, I finally understood that forgiveness is the real key. 

She did her best and whether I like it or not, I have to deal with it. The only way for me to stop “being” the victim is to stop “playing” the victim. 

We can all agree that overcoming victim mentality is hard. But it is definitely harder to stay stuck in a cycle where you keep on losing. We are only victims of the circumstances we choose to accept. I want you to be free. I want you to flip your life around and start taking control. Here’s how.

1. List the things you’re grateful for.

There are a lot of things to be grateful for everyday. It could be as simple as waking up to your alarm or getting a good night’s sleep. 

Practicing gratitude helps you to stop being a victim. Every person encounters difficult life situations. Being thankful lets you focus more on the lessons disguised in all your difficulties. 

Always ask yourself:

What is this trying to teach me?

2. Accept what is and let go of what was

You can only control your choices not anyone else’s. When you were a kid, most of your life was influenced by your parent’s choices. As you grow into adulthood, you slowly get to decide how to take control of your life. 

Whatever happened in your past is not completely within your control. Yes, consider yourself a victim of other people’s bad choices. It’s okay. Just let it all go.

What happens to your future, however, depends entirely on you. 

Do you want to keep playing the victim? Or do you want to start taking control of your life?

The choice is yours.

1. Be Confident

Confidence is the opposite of victim mentality. You have to believe that you are, indeed, capable of crafting a better future.

You are a winner. You are not the victim you always thought you were. You can create your perfect life. You just have to decide and be confident about it. 

We often focus on the worst-case scenarios and hold the universe accountable. What if you lost your job because the universe is preparing you for a much better one? What if your car broke down so you can meet the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with?

Ask yourself instead, “What’s the best that could happen? ”

You are not a victim. You have full control. It’s time to take back your power and let life’s goodness take over. You are so much more.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dee is a millennial minimalist. She wears mostly black despite loving shades of peach. She is a freelance Social Media Manager, Copywriter and SEO specialist who frequently works at coffee shops with an Iced Americano on the side. She loves reading but haven’t done so in a while. If she’s stressed, you’ll definitely find her on the shore, watching the sun set.

She started this blog during the pandemic. Earlier this year, she finally had the courage to offer her freelance services. If you want to know more about Dee, check out her Instagram here.