What exactly is self-respect? According to Lexico Powered by Oxford, it’s “pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity” and I agree. In my own plain terms, self-respect means holding yourself accountable to receiving the best you know you deserve.

The sad truth is that us females are used to putting others before ourselves. It’s in our DNA, we’re nurturers by design but in most cases, that leaves us settling and unfulfilled in our own lives. Whether we know that we deserve better or not, it’s a cycle that is harder to get out of the more time we spend in it.

The quote, “The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others” is so true.

You have to have standards for yourself that you hold yourself too and have the confidence to walk away from anything or anyone who doesn’t reach them. If you don’t, people will take advantage of you because they know they can get away with it and trust me, there are people out there who are looking for someone to do exactly that with. You have to protect yourself.

Easier said than done right? I know. You might think it’ll make you seem like you’re better than everyone and push people away as a result. Especially if it’s someone you care about and here is where I give you some tough love and say who cares!

Always put yourself first. If someone really cares about you, they would want you to be the happiest you can be and they’ll rise to the occasion to be a positive contribution to that.

But what if you don’t hold yourself accountable to receive the best in the first place?

Here’s why you should build more self-respect

1. Like mentioned earlier, having a healthy relationship with yourself promotes having healthier relationships with others

2. You deserve the best so you have to be proactive about creating a life where you only surround yourself with things and people who align with that

3. You deserve to be happy and happiness comes from within

4. Life is what you make it so set standards and goals

5. If you say one thing and do another, people will not take you seriously so say what you mean and mean what you say.

This is also where self-love comes in. Self-love and self-respect work hand in hand. Actually I
believe that you have to know yourself before you can love yourself and when you love yourself, you understand what an amazing person you are so the self-respect naturally follows.

If you’re currently struggling with self-love, remember that there’s only one of you in the huge world of billions and billions of people. That fact alone should make you realize how special you are. Yes, you may not love every single thing about yourself and/or have gone through a lot in the past. Maybe you aren’t where you want to be but it’s your unique combination of DNA, values, experiences and lessons that make you, you.

Instead of pushing them away, acting like they didn’t happen or surrendering to them holding you back, embrace them and keep going. Life is what you make it. Through that I’m sure you can make a contribution to the world that only you can make. However time is something you can never get back so cherish your time by making sure that you and everyone else respects it.

Appreciate every second. Every minute. Every month. Every year to make it the best it can be because you have goals to accomplish, lessons to learn, good memories to make and contributions to give. Once you understand that, it will become much easier to achieve self-respect, you’re unstoppable because you owe it to yourself to be the best you, you can be. I’m cheering you on!


Shantel Chambers started She 3.0 in January 2019 when she felt a calling to do more. Previously, she spent the last three years creating beauty content online to help females everywhere look their best but eventually felt that it was more beneficial to help them face what made them feel flawed in the first place instead of just covering it up.

Her blog She 3.0, shows women the endless opportunities to be themselves. By empowering women to embrace and grow from their shared female experiences, they accept that they’ll always be a work in progress and complete at the same time. They will love themselves knowing that they’re never alone and inspire each other in the process. By creating a community based on turning vulnerability into strength.