Looking at myths and tales of olden times, there always seems to be a common mistake in the downfall of a hero. They become too proud, or self-centered, or let their ego get the best of them. As they hit rock-bottom, they realize this hamartia, or fatal flaw, that has led them to lose everything they’ve worked for…
Similarly in real life, we all carry our own fatal flaws – and many times, we aren’t even aware of them! This post is not a judgment in any way, but simply a loving space where we can be open with our flaws and start to overcome them together. Here are the five steps to recognizing your flaws, included with a worksheet to help put this plan into action.
1. Ask yourself these essential questions
The first step to identifying your flaws is by asking the right questions. Pull out a pen and paper and brain-dump whatever comes to mind at these questions.
Remember, the more thoughts you jot down for these questions, the easier it’ll be in the upcoming steps.
- What is a situation you would consider your biggest mistake?
- What were some actions and emotions during that time?
- What are some qualities you admire most in others?
- What sort of self-talk comes up throughout the day? Any reoccurring thoughts?
2. Consult Those Around you
This method isn’t for everyone, but I encourage you to ask a couple of people that you are close to and trust wholeheartedly. Sometimes, we would be surprised at how blind-sighted we are to our own actions and the things we say!
Just simply approach with this question.
“What is a personality trait of mine that you would improve?”
“How can I improve as a person?”
Remember that it’s okay to not agree with their opinion, just take it as something to think about and thank them for their input.
Bonus Tip: Don’t get too caught up in changing a lot of things at once, just focus on one. If you get different answers from different people, find one that resonates with you most.
3. Identify the consequences
Once you have that flaw identified, make a list for it and ask yourself… What consequences can this flaw cause in my life? Think about relationships, your self-talk, and self-love, stress levels, and loss or gain of confidence.
For example, I’m more of a short-tempered person, and I recognize that this flaw can cause severe damage in my relationships if I’m careless with it. If I lose my temper and say something I don’t mean in the heat of the moment, I could end up seriously hurting the other person.
If someone struggles with caring too much what others think, that could be a big factor in unnecessary stress and anxiety. Not only could this cause health problems later on, it can also detract from them living their fullest life and doing what they aspire to.
By identifying the consequences, we can be more aware of the areas we can be more careful, and it also provides motivation to change for the better.
4. Ways To Cooperate With This Flaw
Now that we’ve identified the flaw, and what consequences it may cause, it’s time to brainstorm some solutions. It may not be possible to immediately overcome it, but there are things you can do to steer yourself in the right direction.
For example, if someone may be struggling with letting the opinions of others depict their life – they can come up with a go-to mindset. Every time they find themselves freaking out over what someone may think, simply ask themself – will this matter in one week? In one month? In the grand scheme of things?
If someone is struggling with low self-esteem, they can implement a daily habit of writing down or speaking aloud self-affirmations. By putting this habit into place, it’ll do a slow yet steady work of turning that flaw around.
5. Baby Steps
Finally, set little milestones for yourself. Like any other big project, it won’t be completed overnight, but it’s a consistent plan to always work on and come back to.
Make weekly goals centered around overcoming the flaw, here are a few examples.
If you care too much what others think and during conversations, you notice your thoughts drifting astray, make it a goal to focus on what the other person is saying rather than conspiring what their thoughts might be. Make a conscious effort to be present during conversations, it can do amazing things to your relationships.
I personally struggle with being short-tempered and wanting everything to be done quickly. This even goes for the things I do for fun – an embarrassing habit is that I watch my TV show episodes on 1.5 speed. To overcome this, I set a weekly goal to put Friends on normal speed and to actually enjoy being present and in tune with what’s happening in the show. I noticed that this has helped me become more patient with other things that I tend to rush through with, and I will continue to implement this practice of savoring and being present into everything else I do.
Here is a worksheet to help you in this process of recognizing and overcoming your flaws. It includes a table with three categories, one for consequences, ways of cooperation, and weekly goals. Print it for free here.
I hope this post gave you a push in the right direction and an action plan for identifying and overcoming your flaws. Be sure to use a worksheet to start on the brainstorming journey. Best of luck and lots of love x
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
This is a guest post by Karen Chen from Rosethorns and Honeydew. Karen is an aspiring author from beautiful BC, Canada, and her purpose is to help her readers achieve success in their academics, self-love, and creating a productive lifestyle.